My first Virtual Photo Session from Alabama of Margaux and Her kids in Rhode Island

The Kintsugi Chronicles is a project I have been dreaming of executing for YEARS. Initially, I had the idea that I would visit Ehlers-Danlos Support groups in my van around the country. While there, I may speak or present some of the intimate photography I had already taken and have a few people in mind to shoot their reality in their homes. Well, traveling is now very hard for me. So is using a regular camera. So hard, in fact, that I have practically closed the doors on my former photography business and only take photos with my camera in short intervals when the conditions are right- usually of friends or out in nature.

When I realized I could utilize this new form of technology (thank you CLOS app!) to take photos again, I was thrilled and overwhelmed. During a pretty awful pain episode, I try to let my mind wonder into creative solutions for the things I want to do and bring into this world..from where I am at.

So, I am mulling through all of this, wondering if it COULD still be possible for this project to make headway. It’s needed. I need the community it will bring, and we all need to see and hear the resilient and healing stories of people with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Each is unique and different, and each person I meet with this same condition I have blows me away with their tenacity, tenderness and strength.

I had been taking a marketing course (which was WONDERFUL, and also very hard.. because I have physically been unable to truly work in a very long time. But, the course (Naked Marketing), allowed me to connect with beautiful people AND really flesh out my vision of what I want to do with my life and how I’m going to do it. (patience meghan, patience). A beautiful human named Kellie was apart of this course, and she had started taking BEAUTIFUL photos virtually during the pandemic. I was blown away with what she was able to execute through her phone’s camera and her subject’s phone’s camera. I reached out to Kelli, and she was kind enough to guide me through her process. It was a bit daunting at first, especially since my eyes cannot look at screens for any extended period of time. Would I be able to safely do this?

The process is a bit more complicated and requires a lot more direction than I had initially thought. It takes a lot of improvisation, because you are only given what the person holding the other phone shows you. You aren’t able to walk around their home and check out the light and the settings, you work with what your given. Not only that, but you are actively coaching the individual holding the camera (or where the subject needs to place their camera) WHILE also directing and interacting with the subject. Since depth of field is very different, you also create different scenarios where depth is created, instead of just changing up your aperture. It is a true creative collaboration, and a lot more fun than I had expected.

It was obvious that I needed practice with this new art form. So, I put a call out for free shoots on my instagram stories, and Margaux was the first to respond. She said she’d been a huge fan of my photos since before I lived in Savannah (wow), and would be honored to play guinea pig with me as I learned how to set these sessions up. As my health has been HIGHLY ERRATIC and unpredictable for the past 4 years, often changing hour by hour, we set a proposed day. That day totally flopped on my end, and she was gracious and kind. Then, the following day I had about an hour of time where I knew I would be able to look at the screen, interact and have some fun. She was ready to go within 15 minutes! She was visiting her mom and dad with her kids during a snow storm, so her mom had control over the camera. It’s so interesting and fun teaching someone how to take a photo and look for light on the fly. Well, I guess I was the one taking the photos and looking for light, and she was following my directions for composition. Everything went so much smoother than I could have imagined, and we all had a really great time.

I think, as I work these into a service offering, I will create a little tutorial and examples of how to look for good light, how to compose a photograph and how to create rhythm and movement with items around the house.. and of course lots of ideas on locations and clothing. Initially, I did not look at this new avenue as a way to take family photos or portraits, but after shooting several sessions, I LOVE IT! Not only do I love it, but everyone who has interacted with this new mechanism has loved how easy it feels, how fun it is, and how “natural” them and their kids are without the pressure of a stranger amongst them holding a camera. It’s actually really really beautiful.

From Margaux

“ I wasn’t sure what to expect from a virtual photo session via phones- would the look like phone photos? would i b able to hear Meghan give direction? Would I have to hold the phone or make it stand up? Meghan answered all of those questions before our session and we had such a great time. She has that special photographer’s eye for light and shapes and spaces, and we ended up with some of the coolest photos that I will cherish forever. I would do this again in a heartbeat!

Upledger Institute: A Healing Experience to Remember

“Hey sis. I’m done with mayo, they told me to get a fucking heating pad. I cried, and then called Upledger Craniosacral Institute the next day, just to see.. they have a spot open for me in 2 weeks.. In Palm Beach.”

“I’m going to drive you. I’ve got to find a way to work while I’m there..but I’m going with you.”

The trip started off great, until Atlanta.we ordered Chick-Fil-A & ran right into their metal awning, breaking it, & it totally sounded like the world was ending. the staff just laughed at us. We kept rolling, even spotting a double rainbow.

Around 11pm, 1 hr. from Jupiter, at a gas station.Taryn used the ignition key in the door (which wasn’t even locked)and broke the key.We have AAA, but locksmiths aren’t open in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. SO, we got towed 1.5 hrs. to our campsite..which accidentally wasn’t booked for that night. We looked up beach parking lots in Jupiter. Fingers crossed it would work.

There we were, dropped off in a random lot, and 30 min later a policeman pulls up. he thought we were cute damsels in distress,”his station was close and he’d be on watch for us all night” . Great! We were safe! But, not from the gnats or the sharks.

It was HOT, & we had to open the van windows. My neurological system was haywire. Each time a gnat bit me, it felt like bee stings and fire everywhere. I had a panic attack & spent the night under the outdoor showers

We both went to the beach at dawn. The ocean was bliss.I heard screaming from the shore. The sound was muffled so I looked up, and a SHARK!! was jumping out of the water less than 2 ft away from me. I swam like lightning to the shore, then buried myself under the sand as a dystonic episode ensued.

T found me, “ do you want the good news or the bad news?”The good news was that the locksmith was making us a key..bad news was that the other keys AND her wallet were now lost.My good news was that I wasn’t eaten by a shark. We laughed.

The appt. was at 9,we walked in around 9:15.My therapist said, “you know we have limited time with you, and your already 15 minutes late”.we laughed..proud we were only 15 min late.

The entire trip was intense, even after each 2 hour session (that I had two of daily), my body would continue the healing work. I stacked three ketamine infusions ontop of my healing with therapists at upledger, because I knew it would help my body recover and reset… and it did! Not only that, but we were able to spend many hours swimming in the ocean before and after these sessions.. where I would be able to move freely, teach myself how to walk again, play in the waves and soak in all of the glorious salt water.

Looking back on this time and this trip, I have such immense gratitude that I was able to spend time with my sister. We had conversations we had been needing to have for a long time. Not only that, but we had a ton of fun. And fun has been a scarce thing for me to come by during this season of life. Now, a couple of years later, I try to access that feeling of fun inside of my heart, because the road has been hard and dark and fun has not been something I have been able to tangibly participate in or hold onto.

I learned so much about my body during this week. The healer within me had been opening for quite some time, but this week solidified my connection with my body. For months afterwards, I would need to spend hours in the shower working with her as she would show me how to help her realign and come back to homesostasis.

A couple of weeks later, my mom and I drove up to Pensylvania to see Dr. Lasko, a neuro-chiropractor. We worked together for 4 hours a day for a week, and he taught me incredible tools that helped me completely stop my dystonia attacks, learned to walk heel-to-toe again, worked on patterning.. and so much more.

My biggest ambition is to be able to participate in Upledger’s dolphin healing program in Mexico. CST is truly the most valuable healing tool I have yet to find, and I plan to use it as much as I possibly can.

upledger institute healing for ehlers-danlos syndrome with Craniosacral Therapy

A Spring Virtual Shoot With Terah and her littles

I have known sweet Terah since High School. Then we ended up going to the same college in Nashville together. Such a sweet, tender soul and an incredible artist. I had yet to see her in her new role as a mamma, and loved witnessing her love for her kids and her children’s spunky and sweet personalities through this incredible avenue of photography.

She had control of her phone during the session, while I tried to direct her and her kids at the same time. It’s always a guessing game what kind of angles you will get, what the light looks like, how steady someone can hold their phone while wrangling kids.. and I love that “think on your feet” kind of mentality that these create. Both Terah and I had a fun time with these, and her daughter Mary even asked when her friend could come back over through the camera and play pictures. Soon, Mary, Soon.

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Gently Laying Down My Camera

While at the hospital, I met a handsome nurse and gave him my business card.

As soon as our interaction ended, I remembered an e mail from squarespace telling me my site expired. My ego got triggered, and I gave it my all (after spine surgery!) and $144 to immediately renew my photo site. Damn it, I am a really good photographer and I am really proud of my work and my business..and he needs to know that.

Truth is, my business hasn’t made money in a year and a half. My ego couldn’t let go of what was already gone.I’ve tried hard to pivot as my body could tolerate.. but my eyes cannot look into the sunlight.
I have known for 6 months that taking photos is no longer an option for my body. I’ve cried a lot, but I want to give my body the ability to stay healthy long term. No longer pushing her too hard.

I do not have a beautiful website to show cute nurse how HARD the last two years have been. I was too tired to tell him about how I’ve dedicated my life to learning about EDS, while fighting a faulty medical system the majority of my life, in unrelenting pain. How standing in that very spot was a miracle and an answer to all my prayers..having undergone a life saving spinal fusion surgery WITH insurance.

In my short life, I have pivoted careers (I just counted) 11 times to accommodate my body. I’ve loved watching you guys pivot, seeing your creativity. A little jealous That I feel I’m straight out of pivots.

Here’s what I do know. I believe my next career will come in smoothly, and I’ll love it more than photography. It will be more creative and it will be healing for myself and so many others. Everything I’ve learned will be morphed into a way to serve and heal.

I still feel a bit of shame in how my ego responded to my photo site, but I really love looking at the pictures i take, so maybe it’s a surgery gift.

Im changing my fight or flight survival response when it comes to..just about everything.. and am allowing my new pivot to come in at its own beautiful pace as I step into what is in the highest alignment for myself. This is a great privaledge to have while I heal.

If you want to see my work, and the website that is still up and running, if you want to immerse yourself in family and love and light and beautiful imagery, go to www.meghillphoto.com . I will be happy to have you visit.

Summer Down Home

Women of July

To know these women is a great honor. An even grater honor is to have them in my life and photograph them as they are to me. Such strong, resilient and loving souls.

Artist Manifesto 2020 Naked Marketing

Meghan’s Artist Manifesto and Manifestation

I am an artist. I am created to create. I use my gift of creativity and connection to take photographs of what is often unseen to the naked eye : Love, Connection, Pain, Tenderness ,Resiliency and beauty. Telling the stories of those beautiful unseen threads of connection that exist between people’s hearts.

My artist eye will capture the unseen in invisible illness with my camera and the photographs and time together will serve as a means of advocacy, a healing balm to each other, and will be a reminder of resilience within the EDS community. I am a storyteller, and I will be vulnerable , and brave with my story to create a space of intimacy and trust with others like me. 

I use my depth of understanding, my empathic and nurturing spirit and my ability to plan and connect to build an online community and educational resource for the ehlers-danlos community. This will create a web of connections and will allow creativity, healing, new ideas, new friendships and new pathways of healing for the connective tissue community. Since I thrive when I am leading, I will lead this community and will create a yearly event of learning, dancing, healing, spirituality and art..etc. I believe the frequency of the flow of art can heal, and I believe that each of us have a healing and artistic gift. 

My creativity will heal my body and soul and it will help everyone I come in contact with on their healing journey. My creativity will provide new and reliable pathways for patient care and management of pain in the ehlers-danlos body, for the collective. My photography will bring new awareness and understanding in a beautifully creative way for the marginalized and the resilience of the human body and spirit. 

My art and the building of this teaching platform and community will provide a steady life-long career for myself with infinite possibilities of growth, grant and sponsorship. My strength and creative genius will be seen by photojournalists, journalists, storytellers, art critics, doctors, producers, editors and writers, educators, trauma victims and therapists, children and adults with chronic pain, healers across the world, and most importantly others who have been alone in their journey with ehlers-danlos syndrome. My life journey is a collective experience and will be seen and turned into a movie/show by the Wachowski sisters.  I will use my leadership platform to encourage, adcovate, educate, nurture, provide safe space, heal, inspire, connect and my light will activate others to awaken to their divine nature. (which EDS is actually angelic DNA..most have this)

When I get discouraged, scared, overwhelmed or off balance I will take a deep breath and center myself and remember why I take photographs and create art and share my healing path : to connect with others, to bring healing to the world and to express myself artistically WHILE also showing others what I see inside of them…living my life as an example of what we are capable of as human. My life serves as a connective mirror. 

Making art as a career HAS AND WILL provide a stable and reliable income for me until I retire. My artistic expression has no limits, and will be sought after more and more as my story becomes known and seen by a wider audience. I will always have the best insurance. My camera and my healing search are my pathways to see the world and experience different cultures. I will have time and energy to care for my body, to make delicious food for myself and my family, I will have a flexible schedule and will not have to EVER over-extend myself physically. I will never burn out because I know how to create a healthy flow of creative and life balance. 

I am brave enough to chart my own career path, to teach my own way, to advocate and learn about my body in ways that have never been done before. I am brave enough to have a career shrouded in unknown and mystery and I trust I will always get the work I can handle. 

I share my abundance with friends and family. I have a small house by the ocean and a small house in the mountains and a vacation home I share with my family. I travel in my van to speak, teach, shoot, commune with healers and mother gaia and connect to other EDSers. 

My photography and platform will allow me to collaborate with other talented artists both within the EDS community and outside.My photographs will change lives and will create a space for isolated people to feel seen and know that they are never alone in their experience (even if they ARE lonely). I will be invited into homes across the world and will witness and learn and document how others love and live meaningful lives with life-long disabilities that are always changing. 

My artistic career will flow as smoothly as honey and will be an extension of my life and will bring fulfillment and purpose to my existence on earth. I will leave a lasting legacy with my art and the creative expression of my fully-embodied life. 

Thirty Three Mantra

I’m standing on the penuchle  of the softest moss-covered cliff, looking down into the depths of the unknown sea below. The sea beacons me with the familiar clash of her dark waters. Her sweet voice draws me down

Mystery feels unsettling for me, because the known is familiar and solid. I have a desire to understand, a desire for the structure and stability that comes from knowing the clear path into the future. 

I am having a hard time writing and its making me anxious and nervous. I don’t know why. Sometimes words flow out, but sometimes they feel stuck in my throat.. unable to utter them outloud. So  my intention for this weekend trip into the woods is to set intentions for the following year of my life, because.. you know.. I just turned 33. and it kind of feels like a big deal in the course of my life because the past 33 years have been bonkers. It feels like  re-setting, like I am putting down the luggage from the long journey behind me and settling into the path ahead. I have clear vision of what I want that to entail, the photos and the feelings are vivid colors and voices inside of my heart and at this point I am unable to adequately articulate that into proper language. 

The year ahead feels like a cozy fire and a walk down a mossed forest path scattered with wildflowers. It feels like sunshine on my skin and it sounds like laughter ringing in my ears. It is a slow dance in the rain, and a tingling on my lips after true loves kiss. The book will no longer be missing chapters, putting the missing links of storylines together in one beautiful rainbow. Inspiration will flow freely from the center of my soul into the soles of my feet and out of the tips of my fingers creating beauty wherever I set my gaze. Friendships will bloom into flowering trees, and my life will have deep purpose that roots me deeper into my own gifts and service to the world. I will knock and seek in the darkest nights, allowing my emotions to unlock truths and love from the depths of my heart. I will bathe in forgiveness like a warm bath, and will open my heart wide to the doors of opportunity that will appear before me. The year is a gift to build a solid foundation I can call my own, to slowly step into the leadership and creativity life is calling from me. Laughter, spontaneity and a child-like sense of wonder will light the path along the garden I am growing in this season of life. I will rise up like a phoenix, knowing my strength and harnessing my creativity to build a lasting career foundation for myself. The year ahead lies blank, and the mystery is hard to accept. I would like to know the plan and have something to drive me forward with purpose and clarity.

But the truth is, I do not know what lies in the year ahead. I would love to heal fully, but I know this takes time and is a sacred process. Will I get the surgeries I need? I will start shooting families again, and will have purpose in my weeks and days building something I can carry with me into the future. I will travel in the van, get to know the amazing people and state of alabama.. allowing things to inspire me with my camera and trust that I will be given the friends and healers and guides I need along the way. I will be given the gift of friendships and will host parties and make girl friends and collaborate with amazing artists in alabama and the south. I will fall in love, and will practice divine patience in unconditional love. I will follow my heart and trust that I will be given every opportunity I have been asked to receive to heal and learn.