Three Hundred Square Foot Jade Cottage Tiny Home In Savannah, Georgia

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If you know me at all, you know I have had a little bit of an obsession with tiny house living since I discovered it was a possibility over 9 years ago. Since then I have lived in almost every form of home: ranch, loft, rentals, fixer-uppers and I even bought a house! 

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It seemed like a really far-off possibility until I left my marriage and needed an affordable and safe place to live in Savannah while I re-grouped my life. After almost giving up home I'd be able to find a place I could afford, this little cottage was listed on Craigslist and I immediately bit.. six months later, and I am still calling this little cottage home with waverly, dakota and nova-luna. 

The photos were taken in February, and things have been arranged-and-rearranged since then, but they are basically the same. I have spent a lot of time and energy sculpting my space into a space that is easy to clean, easy to arrange, requires little thought about cleaning, and one that makes me feel happy and alive. The products and art that I have chosen aren't by chance, and have been chosen based upon their affordability.. mostly I have just gotten rid of a lot of things I don't need and have kept the things that enhance my life. 

As Marie Kondo says, only the things that "spark joy" remain.  Shall we tour? 

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The cottage has been thoughtfully laid out and is one of the most space efficient tiny spaces I've ever been inside! When you walk in the front door you are met with the the entirety of the cottage (minus the laundry/bathroom/closet), but the kitchen is directly in front of you. We will start there:

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The art on the kitchen walls is by my talented friend Allie Lehman. The fridge is littered with client letters, Christmas cards, developed film and far away friends. 

There is a small stovetop with a little oven underneath that suits me perfectly. All of the drawers have been organized following Marie Kondo's Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  , which I will be sharing lots more of soon!

Tunes are kept playing in the cottage thanks to my free record player I scored in Nashville from Third Man Records , and I keep local magazines like Savannah and South for guests to read while I cook. 

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If you look further down the wall that houses the fridge and record player, you'll find a couch I made from a score on craigslist + cushions I upholstered and found at thrift stores and ikea. The wall above the couch is littered with art from Emily Jeffords, Britt Bass, Teil Duncan, Hillary Butler, KATE Waddell, my sister and myself. 

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The art above my bed was a sweet gift from Linen and Leaf , the macramé prayer flags over my bed are a gift from Be With Heart  , the small yellow and white weaving is from Hazel and Scout, and the other various things in my home are most likely finds from thrift stores, from Ikea, made by myself and/or gifts from friends! 

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EDS Daily: Monday May 22nd, 2017

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MORNING EVALUATION:

1. TODAY'S DATE: monday, may 22, 2017

2. CURRENT TIME: 12:56 pm

3. CURRENT LOCATION: savannah, ga

4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 90

5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 10pm

7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: woke up at 8:30, got out of bed at 10 am 

8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 10.5

9. HOW DID I SLEEP?: great actually! I have been really sleeping well lately

10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? Armour hyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | cannibus as needed for pain | chromium soduim 5mg 6x/day | 

11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? woke up with pretty sharp pain in my left hip and back. legs hurting, but am now wearing compression sleeves on lower legs. very sore today after shooting a wedding on Saturday. headache. 

12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT?  8, soreness 

13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? 6, not high, but not as low as it sometimes is after shooting a big event

DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? yes  WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? legs, neck, jaw.. it seems as if it takes a long time for my brain to reach my muscles today. 

14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes 

15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? actually kind of decent 

16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? enough to walk around the house 

17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? not really, just stabalizing 

18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? .. 

Had a wedding on Saturday here in Savannah, and am really proud of how well my body held up. I used the segway to get me around long distances, and was able to stand while doing the actual "shooting". Working as a team with E-S is getting easier, which allow my body to not bear all of the weight of the photos and the stress of the wedding day. Yesterday I was good to keep up on my chromium dosages, I stayed in bed all day not putting forth much physical effort and got two solid nights of sleep while eating well at the wedding and at home since. 

5 Things I Learned During My Week (s) Without A Phone

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It was one of those days. You know, where nothing seems to go right and it always rains when you walk out the door. On the way from Carrboro to Savannah Nova-Luna bolted from the back of my little honda element to the front passenger's seat. On her way she dug her claws in an extra-large cup from Chick-Fil-A  filled with lemonade. The hole in the cup made the lemonade spill all throughout my center cup holder. What once held cups for my  trip soon held a big pool of lemonade. 

Several hours later, after getting off the phone with my mom and forgetting to clip back the bottom charger port on my life-proof (NOT) case, my phone silently slipped off my lap and into the moat of lemonade. Thus ruining my refurbished replacement (from dropping my i phone in the dog's water bowl) i phone. With my cell-phone-replacement-funds fresh out of cash, I find myself without a cell phone. 

Now, i phone texts still show up on my computer, so I am not cut of completely.. but it's enough to cause a pretty big shift in my day-to-day existence. I've learned a lot while I have been withoutmy always handy GPS, social media stalking, bank account status, music playing device.. lucky for you I've narrowed it down to Five takeaways for you:

1. social media can wait: 

The first and foremost nugget of truth I am keeping in my pocket from this period is this " social media can wait". I have already cut out facebook, no longer use snap chat or twitter, and prefer to keep my attention turned towards instagram. You cannot use instagram without a phone. 

I realized that I am normally checking in on intagram when:

  • i am bored
  • i am in a boring conversation
  • i am overwhelmed and exhausted
  • i feel awkward
  • i feel like i'm missing out
  • i get stressed that i am not booking work
  • any other situations where I want to occupy my brain with something other than the present 

On average, I'd say instagram normally takes up an average of 1-2 hours a day of my attention and focus. Since not having my phone, I have checked into instagram twice on my computer, and only stayed on it long enough to check my messages. I don't miss it. I don't even know if I ever get any leads/traffic/bookings from instagram. 

I am now questioning whether or not I want to get back into the instagram game when I get a new phone?

2. turn off and tune in: 

Last Sunday, I was at dinner with my parents and I realized I was super annoyed with my dad because he kept checking in on his phone. After I stepped back from the situation, I realized that I would have (and often do) done the same thing my dad did.

When there's a void in conversation and we start to get awkward, what do we do? check our phones.

When you are at a stoplight, what do you do? Check your phone for new leads, new likes, new e mails.. 

When I look around the room at dinner, parties or public places I realize how thankful I am that I dropped my phone in lemonade and am re-training myself to turn off my phone and attention to my phone and tun in to what is going on around me. People are actually really interesting! 

3. your brain still works:

This is quite possibly the most alarming piece I am taking away from this whole phone fast.. my brain works really well. I can get places on my own (without google maps), I can still do simple math (without my calculator), and I can come up with alternative ways of looking up informationinstead of googling every question I have. 

4. cut out the noise: 

Sometimes we just need a break from the constant bombardment of texts, instagram likes, twitter tweets, e mails in your inbox, and voicemails from doctor offices. 

Without my phone I haven't had the opportunity to bring more noise (by way of sound/media/advertisement etc) into my day-to-day. My mind seems clearer since I'm not distracted by communicating with the people that aren't around me.. My thought processing is better, and my ideas are clearer. I would also like to think I am more present in conversations now. 

5. just because it says life-proof, doesn't mean it actually IS life proof. aka take care of your stuff: 

"This is why we can't have nice things" is a phrase I am constantly saying out loud to myself when I break something. I have always been a bargain shopper, but have started allowing for a splurge on something if it is a product that will last me a LONG time and will pay off in the long run. 

This leads me to my point: when you have  nice things, treat them well. Don't let them drop on the ground, don't assume that since it's in a case it's impenetrable by outside forces, and batteries are made to last a while so charge them accordingly. 

I have an e mail out to Huaweh about their new Mate 9, and am saving up money for another replacement.. but in the meantime I am going to enjoy being unreachable, inspired and entirely present in my life. Who knows, I may just end up getting a flip phone and/or a land line! 

eds daily Tuesday May, 16th

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MORNING EVALUATION:

1. TODAY'S DATE: may 16th, 2017 (rent's due today!)

2. CURRENT TIME:1:26

3. CURRENT LOCATION: savannah, ga

4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 90

5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 9:00 PM

7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 9:00 AM

8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 12

9. HOW DID I SLEEP? GREAT!

10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? Armour hyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal cannibus as needed for pain | cyclobenzaprine 5mg | chromium sodium 5mg oral x4 daily | maxalt this am for migraine 

11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? head, back, legs, left hip, hands

12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? 8.. soreness mainly. the "hit by a truck" kind of pain

13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? 7.. moving slowly, but my brain is functioning ok? 

DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? my eyes. hard to hold up my eyelids 

14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  ohhhh yeahhhh babyyy

15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? below normal, but not supperr slow 

16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? ish 

17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? no 

18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? trying to get a lot of sleep this week between weddings. it needs to be noted that i went almost a day without chromium sodium and it's absence started triggering neurological effects in my body. for instance, I would turn my head to the right and then my right arm/mouth would start twitching and kind of get "stuck". This continued to happen until i had about 2 viles of the solution in my system. 

ALso! Saturday, the day I shot a wedding, I had E-S pop my lower back with a bear-hug. (you know you pick someone up and kind of swing them until the pressure releases?) well, he squeezed my ribs verrryyyy hard and i started saying "that's to hard! i'm going to pass out! I am going to pass out!!" i felt a rush of blood to my head and heard the sound of a heart monitor beeping along with the smell you smell when you go under for surgery. I also heard nurses and doctors shouting "wake up! wake up! she's not waking up!" It felt SO REAL. Then, my vision starts to tunnel back and I hear someone saying "wake up! are you ok? meg! are you ok?" .. as i was still hearing the monitor beeping i heard e-s's voice.. then i slowly saw his face and I was right back where i was (which seemed like decades ago), in his arms with my back being popped. 

As I came back, I was told that I "was only out for a second, my body just went limp.. then it started twitching a bit as if struck by electricity.. no, it wasn't long at all." 

My first POTS/ dysautonomia experience now in the books. definitely not looking forward to another one. 

hEDS Daily: Saturday May 13th, 2017

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i guess the elephant in the room should be exosed: i'm totally not following the schedule like I would like to. I am not interested in making myself feel bad about not meeting my "daily morning and evening check-ins". I'd like to keep giving myself grace and allowing this "check in" to happen as it should. 

is once a day all i have in me? awesome. let's do a morning evaluation. what if i check in at night? lets just do an evening evaluation.. that's how i am going to structure it, for my sanity, from now on. 

I started this post on Wednesday, and am just now finishing it on Saturday. Looks like I need to prioritize my time better! 

MORNING EVALUATION:

1. TODAY'S DATE: Saturday May 13th

2. CURRENT TIME: 11:00 am

3. CURRENT LOCATION: Savannah

4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 70

5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 10 pm

7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 9:30 am

8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 11.5!

9. HOW DID I SLEEP? awesome

10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? Armour hyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain | chromiam sodium 5mg oral x as needed daily

11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? left hip, feet, head and fingers

12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT?  6, soreness 

13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? not sure yet, but I have a wedding today so it better be good! 

DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? 

14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes, it's raining outside 

15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING?  slow, but that's pretty normal for morning time 

16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? yes

17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? no 

18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? I feel off the segway pretty hard on Thursday. I think the pain and soreness from that fall (on concrete) is starting to settle in. I'm interested to see how my body handles it. 

hEDS Daily: Monday May 8th, 2017

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EVENING EVALUATION:

1. WHAT TIME IS IT? 8:31 pm

2. CURRENT LOCATION: savannah 

3. CURRENT TEMPERATURE:  75

4. DID I EAT ANYTHING DIFFERENT/NOTABLE? no, but i have been thinnking about the bullet proof diet (i did it last summer) again and am wondering if i should look into it again. is it histamine? 

5. OVERALL PAIN LEVEL TODAY (ON 1-10 SCALE SYSTEM): 7

6. WHERE DID I EXPERIENCE THE MOST PAIN/DISCOMFORT TODAY?  lower back 

7. ENERGY LEVEL: not too bad! 

8. DID ANYTHING MAKE MY ENERGY AND PAIN LEVELS BETTER OR WORSE? I did fascia blasting today, and i also took the dogs on a walk/run on my segway

9. EMOTIONAL STATE TODAY: good, just super tired. my parents were here this weekend which was great! but it also was very exhausting. hoping to go to the beach tomorrow!

10. HOW DID I LOVE MYSELF TODAY? i let myself have fun today

11. DID I USE MY CANE, WALKER, SEGWAY TODAY? segway, but that was more of a means for me to be athletic and get the dog's energy out 

12. DID I PARK IN HANDICAPPED PARKING TODAY? didn't drive 

13. DID I WORK TODAY? yes, lots of e mails and communication & background work. I'm about to start editing tonight as i watch 'Bessie" 

14. MUSIC LISTENED TO TODAY:  Hiss Golden Messanger 

15. DID I ASK FOR HELP TODAY? yes! i asked my mom to make me breakfast and my dad to put together a garden cart for me :) 

16. anything else worth notating about the day, overall? lots of pain, needing to rest for a good several days for this weekends wedding. 

20. PLEASE PROVIDE ANY PHOTOS TO DOCUMENT BODY CONDITION/EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ACTIVITIES COMPLETED FOR DAY: if I can get one my mom took today I'll post it later. 

EDS daily: Friday, May 5th 2017

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MORNING EVALUATION: wednesday april 26th, 2017

  1. TODAY'S DATE: may 5, 2017

  2. CURRENT TIME: 11:17 am!  

  3. CURRENT LOCATION: savannah, ga

  4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 80

  5. BLOOD PRESSURE:

  6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 3 AM

  7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: in bed right now typing this 

  8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 8 hours

  9. HOW DID I SLEEP? I was so tired, yesterday was SO LONG, that I slept great. I wish I was still asleep!

  10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? 

    Armour hyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain | gabapentin 5 mg 

  11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? everywhere. feel like i've been hit by a truck. lower back and right shoulder hurt a lot off quick evaluation 

  12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? 7

  13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? 4? my brain seems to be working. we will see how it shapes out later today (and i'll write about it.. obviously not used to this routine yet 

  14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes

  15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? decent.. much much better than last night

  16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? YES!!!

  17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? this morning, no :) 

ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? spent the day mostly in the car yesterday.. also packing up. it definitely wasn't a day of rest, but my parents are coming into town today and i'm hoping to convince them we should go to the beach! 

EVENING EVALUATION:

1. WHAT TIME IS IT? went to bed at 10:00 

2. CURRENT LOCATION: savannah, georgia 

3. CURRENT TEMPERATURE:  thyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain 

4. DID I EAT ANYTHING DIFFERENT/NOTABLE? i ate out at zunzis and it was great! didn't get sick at ll 

5. OVERALL PAIN LEVEL TODAY (ON 1-10 SCALE SYSTEM):9.5

6. WHERE DID I EXPERIENCE THE MOST PAIN/DISCOMFORT TODAY?  today was BAD BAD. everything hurt, it was hard to have multiple conversations, even on the segway it was hard to walk. i had to excuse myself from what we were doing and go to bed at 5pm  

7. ENERGY LEVEL: 9 LOW

8. DID ANYTHING MAKE MY ENERGY AND PAIN LEVELS BETTER OR WORSE? I woke up and cleaned my house, and my parents came into town and i had a really hard time having conversations and even holding myself up. keeping my eyes open was hard too. i think it was just too much stimulation for one day.. especially a bad day 

9. EMOTIONAL STATE TODAY: honestly, i didn't even have enough bandwidth TO be emotional
 

10. HOW DID I LOVE MYSELF TODAY? ?

11. DID I USE MY CANE, WALKER, SEGWAY TODAY? segway

12. DID I PARK IN HANDICAPPED PARKING TODAY? WHY? YES

13. DID I WORK TODAY? no

14. MUSIC LISTENED TO TODAY: marvin gay on record 

15. DID I ASK FOR HELP TODAY? yes

16. HOW DID I LOVE SOMEONE TODAY? 

17. WHAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY? ?

18. WHAT MADE ME CRY TODAY? ?

19. WHAT MADE ME LAUGH TODAY?  ?

20. PLEASE PROVIDE ANY PHOTOS TO DOCUMENT BODY CONDITION/EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ACTIVITIES COMPLETED FOR DAY: n/a  

EDS Daily: Monday May 1st

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MORNING EVALUATION: wednesday april 26th, 2017

  1. TODAY'S DATE: May 1, 2017

  2. CURRENT TIME: 2:44  

  3. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 80

  5. BLOOD PRESSURE: ( I have really got to remember to do this every morning.. it's to monitor and assess POTS ) 

  6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 1 am

  7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 10:45 AM

  8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 9.45 hours

  9. HOW DID I SLEEP? I actually slept really well.. I had a hard time falling asleep because my mind was racing, but once I fell asleep I stayed asleep and only got up once to use the bathroom! 

  10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? armour 60mg | cymbalta (generic) 60mg | gabapentin (generic) 5mg | 

  11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? lower back especially left side , my legs have ant/numbing pain from knee to bottom of foot. I am overall very sore today (ribs, neck, back, shoulders, jaw, knees) but I do not have the acute pain that I thought I would after yesterday's segway rides! 

  12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? 4.5.. as mentioned above, mainly sore muscles and joints. car crash type pain. 

  13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? my brain is actually really sharp and ready to work! I have lots to do today. 

  14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes, but it is not a migraine.. maybe because of the april showers that have been blowing through in north carolina

  15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? pretty fast! right after i woke up, I took my medicines, listened to some music, and then took waverly then dakota both on walks/runs on my segway lasting for about 1 hour total!

  16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? YES!!!

  17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? this morning, no :) 

ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? I realize I didn't check in for the past few days, as I was separating myself from media for 24-ish hours. Those hours were spent meditating and clearing space to be able to better feel and understand my pain and my body in relation to that pain. Several insights were found, and I would like to document them below so that I can refer back to this post later:

  • through reflex testing and needle testing, it was determined (by myself) that my legs from hip to knee are mainly numb. Sharp pain sensations are very delayed and are "muted" in how loud they feel. This also happened with slapping sensation, bumping sensation (one that would cause a bruise), water as well as air. However, from the knee to foot is an entirely different story. The pain sensation was heightened more-so than anywhere else on my body. I am curious why this is the case?
  • Pooling of blood happens in knees to feet after standing and walking for more than 30 minutes at a time
  • left side of body has less muscle mass around joints than right side of body. 
  • left side of body is more hypermobile than right
  • more pain in left side of body
  • back (possible tethered chord syndrome?) feels better when posture is made different than what is "natural".. tucking tail and allowing knees to be "knock kneed" puts pressure off back pain. The pelvis ends up being tilted forward and tail is tucked. It eliminates all curvature of lower spine.
  1. Is this ok?
  2. Should I start taping this to allow re-training of posture?

 

Forsyth Farmers Market In Savannah, Georgia

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Forsyth Farmers Market..

a market very unlike any I have ever visited. When I moved to Savannah, I didn't have time or energy to venture out to the Farmers Market on Saturday mornings, so it has taken me a little longer to become acquainted with this Saturday morning gem than I would have liked! It is as diverse as the locals who call Savannah home. If you are in town to visit and do not have a need for fresh fair, you should still venture over to Forsyth to catch a glimpse of some pretty top-knotch people watching. Head to Sentient Bean for fresh brewed, local coffee and pop into Brighter Day for a post-farmers market smoothie! 

I was able to venture down to Forsyth on a crisp Saturday morning in February. Being a wedding photographer, I don't often have Saturday mornings to venture around town, so it was perfect when I was asked to take photos of the farmers market in the winter! I was nervous there wouldn't be many people out because it was a bit cooler than us Savannahians prefer. Instead, I was met with a bustle of vendors, customers, kids, chickens and pups when I pulled up to Sentient Bean for a pre-farmers market coffee. 

Local vendors were as eclectic as the food they were selling.. all of their faces met me bright with smiles and welcomed my questions with open arms. The produce was a bit more expensive than I would normally pay, but I was happy to pay the extra to support local families and farms. You will see that you can also get some farm fresh eggs, honey, local chocolate, mushrooms, macaroons.. the list goes on and on! 

Luckily, for those of us who work most Saturday morning, the Forsyth Farmers Market Farm Truck 912  gets out-and-about during the week selling excess produce from Saturday's Farmers Market!

 

EDS Daily: April 26-May 3rd

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initially, i had planned to publish these evaluations once a week. However, I am having a hard time not confusing dates and copy/pasting the wrong things.. so, for my sake, I'm going to need to publish these daily. I will try to find a way to limit how often they appear in subscriber inboxes!

the following journals range from April 26-April 29th

MORNING EVALUATION: wednesday april 26th, 2017

  1. TODAY'S DATE: april 26, 2017

  2. CURRENT TIME: 11:32 am 

  3. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 71 

  5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

  6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 1 am

  7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 10:20 am

  8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 9 hours

  9. HOW DID I SLEEP? great! the herb brownie i had before bed + two muscle relaxors (5 mg each) really helped do the trick!

  10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? armour 60mg | cymbalta (generic) 60mg | gabapentin (generic) 5mg | 

  11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? lower back especially left side | legs, particularly from the knee down to the feet | left shoulder | neck below a1 vertebrae | hands, especially particular fingers feel sprained from Saturday's wedding |

  12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? 7.5 | from my feet to my knees i have burning pain, numbing pain (like ants crawling up and down legs) and joint pain in my left knee (medial meniscus) | lower back pain is sharp and continuous and radiates down left leg. lower back is also sore and is made worse by moving | pain in neck is stiff, radiating down from my left jaw to my left pinkie is lightning pain | hands are sore like sprained ankles with pain in arms that mimics leg pain | neck feels like it needs to be popped | head hurts above eyes

  13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? 7, which is low. My brain is working better than it has the past several days, so cogniatively I am sharper than I have been, but my body is slowing down my processing and my limbs feel like they have cement at the end of my feet and hands. 

  14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes, but it is not a migraine.. just soreness in front of head above (and behind) eyes

  15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? slow, but much faster than yesterday. the pain is overwhelming my processing today

  16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? ehhhhhhhh. not really. but they ARE able to hold me up and move if I make them. 

  17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? yes, using the segway

  18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? i fell, as overall, i'm recovering a little faster with this wedding than i did lauren and matt's. day three seems to be the day my cognative ability comes almost fully back, but my overall pain increases.. becomes much louder

EVENING EVALUATION:

  1. WHAT TIME IS IT? 10:17 pm

  2. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  3. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 68

  4. MEDICATIONS TAKEN TODAY: 

  5. DID I EAT ANYTHING DIFFERENT/NOTABLE? no, but i didn't have a proper lunch today

  6. OVERALL PAIN LEVEL TODAY (ON 1-10 SCALE SYSTEM): ranging from 5-7

  7. WHERE DID I EXPERIENCE THE MOST PAIN/DISCOMFORT TODAY? i had acute pain in my chest and lower left back.. continual pain in feet and legs today, made worse by long periods of standing

  8. ENERGY LEVEL: 4

  9. DID ANYTHING MAKE MY ENERGY AND PAIN LEVELS BETTER OR WORSE? I think the magnesium helps a bit with energy. i also drank coffee this morning 

  10. EMOTIONAL STATE TODAY: good! much better than the previous day 

  11. HOW DID I LOVE MYSELF TODAY? i took the time to make this questionnaire AND i took my segway (for the first time in public) and myself out to the farmers market 

  12. WHAT DID I DO TODAY (DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS, PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, INTERACTIONS OF NOTE, WORK OF NOTE, MOBILITY ISSUES OF NOTE): I wrote, responded to e mails for photo business, edited photos, went to farmers market and aldi (with segway), and walked on properties 

  13. DID I USE MY CANE, WALKER, SEGWAY TODAY? segway

  14. DID I PARK IN HANDICAPPED PARKING TODAY? WHY? no, because I had my segway

  15. DID I WORK TODAY? yes, maybe 3-4 hours?

  16. MUSIC LISTENED TO TODAY: joseph on vinyl

  17. DID I ASK FOR HELP TODAY? yes, transporting my segway and asking for breakfast

  18. HOW DID I LOVE SOMEONE TODAY? i am not sure i was as outwardly focused as I would have like to have been today, but i think i love others when i take the time to care for myself.. so maybe i did that today?

  19. WHAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY? driving through the countryside of north carolina 

  20. WHAT MADE ME CRY TODAY? nothing!

  21. WHAT MADE ME LAUGH TODAY? the people i was around 

  22. PLEASE PROVIDE ANY PHOTOS TO DOCUMENT BODY CONDITION/EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ACTIVITIES COMPLETED FOR DAY: n/a ;) 

MORNING EVALUATION: thursday, april 27th, 2017

  1. TODAY'S DATE: april 27, 2017

  2. CURRENT TIME: 1:25pm 

  3. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 81

  5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

  6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 9:30 pm

  7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 9:25 am

  8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 11 hours

  9. HOW DID I SLEEP? great! I've been sleeping a lot better with the muscle relaxers as well as brownie :)  

  10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? armour 60mg | cymbalta (generic) 60mg | gabapentin (generic) 5mg | 

  11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? lower back especially left side | legs, particularly from the knee down to the feet | left shoulder | neck below a1 vertebrae | hands, especially particular fingers feel sprained from Saturday's wedding | .. same as yesterday except pain today is more a sore joint type of pain (at least right now) 

  12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? 7.5 | I took a high dose of medicinal herb this morning, so my pain has slowed down (and it's also why i'm just now getting to this even though I woke up earlier). Resting and working from the couch toay 

  13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? 5, which is higher than yesterday. my neck is tired from holding up my head, legs are VERY tired and exhausted after walking from couch to bathroom (an example)

  14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes, but it is more a spring pressure headache

  15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? slow, but much faster than yesterday. I'm working!

  16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? they aren't as loud as yesterday, so I started walking this morning, over estimating my ability to do labor today. Using the segway around the house for the reminder of the day

  17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? no-ish

  18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? overall a soreness is setting in from the wedding on Saturday.. sore joints and bruises appearing more, especially where I wore my braces. Overall, any physical exertion makes me very tired today.

EVENING EVALUATION:

  1. WHAT TIME IS IT? 1:08 pm on Friday the 28th.. (lets be honest, I fell asleep last night because i was feeling poorly, and didn't fill this out. I'll be typing as if i did fill it out last night) 

  2. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  3. CURRENT TEMPERATURE:  thyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain 

  4. DID I EAT ANYTHING DIFFERENT/NOTABLE? nope. gluten free as always. have started eating yogurt again and am doing parfaits with gf granola from aldi and fruit. YUM

  5. OVERALL PAIN LEVEL TODAY (ON 1-10 SCALE SYSTEM): 6

  6. WHERE DID I EXPERIENCE THE MOST PAIN/DISCOMFORT TODAY? My mind was working a lot better today, so I thought I could do a lot more than I should have. I organized a kitchen throughout the day... standing quickly became hard because of blood pooling in my legs below my knees. Legs felt swollen and throbbing with pain and knees would swell too. It felt like water was sloshing around inside my skin 

  7. ENERGY LEVEL: 3 (decent!) 

  8. DID ANYTHING MAKE MY ENERGY AND PAIN LEVELS BETTER OR WORSE? i had to exert a lot of energy cleaning the kitchen, so I would do it in stages of 15 minutes. I also made lunch today, and by the end of the 30 min prep time I could no longer stand and cognitive processing became extremely hard. 

  9. EMOTIONAL STATE TODAY: good! organizing the kitchen gave me a very focused escape from the pain. I think I am realizing that is why I like to organize and decorate? It's something I can do that is in front of me that requires total focus and I can always see the reward of my labor when a room is decorated and organized. It's almost like meditation? 

  10. HOW DID I LOVE MYSELF TODAY? I made myself some good food and went to bed early 

  11. WHAT DID I DO TODAY (DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS, PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, INTERACTIONS OF NOTE, WORK OF NOTE, MOBILITY ISSUES OF NOTE): organized a kitchen (a lot of work), edited a family session and delivered it to clients. responded to e mails, spent time with Dan and Eric-Scott. 

  12. DID I USE MY CANE, WALKER, SEGWAY TODAY? segway

  13. DID I PARK IN HANDICAPPED PARKING TODAY? WHY? no, i didn't leave the house

  14. DID I WORK TODAY? yes, maybe 7 hours?

  15. MUSIC LISTENED TO TODAY: lana del ray

  16. DID I ASK FOR HELP TODAY? no

  17. HOW DID I LOVE SOMEONE TODAY? I cleaned and organized Eric-Scott's kitchen! I also did the dishes even though I was very tired :) 

  18. WHAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY? Nova- Luna and Waverly. Karma and Nova-Luna learning how to play together 

  19. WHAT MADE ME CRY TODAY? nothing!

  20. WHAT MADE ME LAUGH TODAY? the people i was around 

  21. PLEASE PROVIDE ANY PHOTOS TO DOCUMENT BODY CONDITION/EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ACTIVITIES COMPLETED FOR DAY: i tried to take a photo of the purplish and red color of my legs, but it didn't show up on camera. 

MORNING EVALUATION: friday april 28th, 2017

  1. TODAY'S DATE: april 28, 2017

  2. CURRENT TIME: 1:33 Pm 

  3. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 81

  5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

  6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 10:30 pm (was awake last night from 3am-5:30am ) 

  7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 11:25 am

  8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 11 hours

  9. HOW DID I SLEEP? great! minus being up from 3-5 :) 

  10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? hyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain 

  11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? whole body is sore, especially my lower left back. legs aren't swollen like they were last night, so the sleep may have helped that? 

  12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? I woke up with a migraine, so that was pretty overwhelmign in the morning. As of right now (after doing fascia blasting and shower) I'm about a 5

  13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? 7.. pretty tired and body is slowly moving around. I could not raise my arms becuase of rib pain this morning. trying to stay on the couch or in a resting position as I work today

  14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  yes, feels a bit like the headache i had after my spinal tap 

  15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? pretty good actually!

  16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? yes, but the ant pain is starting to creep in.. trying to keep legs elevated today so they blood pooling doesn't set in like yesterday

  17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? no-ish

  18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? I want to note that I did a full 45 minute fascia blasting session this morning. I have been fascia blasting since January, started doing a session a day for several weeks, maybe a month? Now I will do mini-sessions in the shower every other day and then a long session once a week. Still unsure if it is helping with pain, but I do know it is helping get rid of cellulite (which is supposedly fascia around my connective tissue).. so the thought is, if I it helps fascia, and bad fascia is part of my problem with my connective tissue, then maybe this could help Ehlers-Danlos specifically? I am a lot more confident in my body these days because of it. 

EVENING EVALUATION:

  1. WHAT TIME IS IT? 1:08 pm on Friday the 28th.. (lets be honest, I fell asleep last night because i was feeling poorly, and didn't fill this out. I'll be typing as if i did fill it out last night) 

  2. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

  3. CURRENT TEMPERATURE:  thyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain 

  4. DID I EAT ANYTHING DIFFERENT/NOTABLE? nope. gluten free as always. have started eating yogurt again and am doing parfaits with gf granola from aldi and fruit. YUM

  5. OVERALL PAIN LEVEL TODAY (ON 1-10 SCALE SYSTEM): 6

  6. WHERE DID I EXPERIENCE THE MOST PAIN/DISCOMFORT TODAY? My mind was working a lot better today, so I thought I could do a lot more than I should have. I organized a kitchen throughout the day... standing quickly became hard because of blood pooling in my legs below my knees. Legs felt swollen and throbbing with pain and knees would swell too. It felt like water was sloshing around inside my skin 

  7. ENERGY LEVEL: 3 (decent!) 

  8. DID ANYTHING MAKE MY ENERGY AND PAIN LEVELS BETTER OR WORSE? i had to exert a lot of energy cleaning the kitchen, so I would do it in stages of 15 minutes. I also made lunch today, and by the end of the 30 min prep time I could no longer stand and cognitive processing became extremely hard. 

  9. EMOTIONAL STATE TODAY: good! organizing the kitchen gave me a very focused escape from the pain. I think I am realizing that is why I like to organize and decorate? It's something I can do that is in front of me that requires total focus and I can always see the reward of my labor when a room is decorated and organized. It's almost like meditation? 

  10. HOW DID I LOVE MYSELF TODAY? I made myself some good food and went to bed early 

  11. WHAT DID I DO TODAY (DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS, PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, INTERACTIONS OF NOTE, WORK OF NOTE, MOBILITY ISSUES OF NOTE): organized a kitchen (a lot of work), edited a family session and delivered it to clients. responded to e mails, spent time with Dan and Eric-Scott. 

  12. DID I USE MY CANE, WALKER, SEGWAY TODAY? segway

  13. DID I PARK IN HANDICAPPED PARKING TODAY? WHY? no, i didn't leave the house

  14. DID I WORK TODAY? yes, maybe 7 hours?

  15. MUSIC LISTENED TO TODAY: lana del ray

  16. DID I ASK FOR HELP TODAY? no

  17. HOW DID I LOVE SOMEONE TODAY? I cleaned and organized Eric-Scott's kitchen! I also did the dishes even though I was very tired :) 

  18. WHAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY? Nova- Luna and Waverly. Karma and Nova-Luna learning how to play together 

  19. WHAT MADE ME CRY TODAY? nothing!

  20. WHAT MADE ME LAUGH TODAY? the people i was around 

  21. PLEASE PROVIDE ANY PHOTOS TO DOCUMENT BODY CONDITION/EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ACTIVITIES COMPLETED FOR DAY: i tried to take a photo of the purplish and red color of my legs, but it didn't show up on camera. 

EVENING EVALUATION:

1. WHAT TIME IS IT? went to bed at 10:45

2. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

3. CURRENT TEMPERATURE:  thyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain 

4. DID I EAT ANYTHING DIFFERENT/NOTABLE? no

5. OVERALL PAIN LEVEL TODAY (ON 1-10 SCALE SYSTEM): 8

6. WHERE DID I EXPERIENCE THE MOST PAIN/DISCOMFORT TODAY?  I was in pain already, but then I fell of the segway and landed face down. The jolt was enough to really rattle my bones. I tried to keep the pain from becoming too overwhelming by using medicinal herbs. 

7. ENERGY LEVEL: 6 (low) 

8. DID ANYTHING MAKE MY ENERGY AND PAIN LEVELS BETTER OR WORSE? falling off the segway def. made it worse

9. EMOTIONAL STATE TODAY:good! got a lot of good work done (check out www.meghillphoto.com
 

10. HOW DID I LOVE MYSELF TODAY? I gave myself grace when it comes to how long it's taking me to edit weddings from April/March
 

11. DID I USE MY CANE, WALKER, SEGWAY TODAY? segway

12. DID I PARK IN HANDICAPPED PARKING TODAY? WHY? no, i didn't leave the house

13. DID I WORK TODAY? yes, maybe 7 hours?

14. MUSIC LISTENED TO TODAY: the president's 2016 summer spotify playlist

15. DID I ASK FOR HELP TODAY? no

16. HOW DID I LOVE SOMEONE TODAY? I made Eric-Scott dinner, edited some photos for a friend for her birthday, and sent out a few kind e mails!

17. WHAT MADE ME SMILE TODAY? so. many. things! 

18. WHAT MADE ME CRY TODAY? nothing!

19. WHAT MADE ME LAUGH TODAY?  my animals 

20. PLEASE PROVIDE ANY PHOTOS TO DOCUMENT BODY CONDITION/EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ACTIVITIES COMPLETED FOR DAY: n/a  

MORNING EVALUATION: saturday april 29th, 2017

1. TODAY'S DATE: april 29, 2017

2. CURRENT TIME: 12:05 Pm 

3. CURRENT LOCATION: carrboro, north carolina 

4. CURRENT TEMPERATURE: 79

5. BLOOD PRESSURE: 

6. TIME I WENT TO BED: 10:30 pm 

7. TIME I GOT OUT OF BED: 10:30 am

8. TOTAL HOURS SLEPT: 12 hours

9. HOW DID I SLEEP? GREAT!! again, the brownie does the trick :) 

10. WHAT MEDICATIONS & SUPPLEMENTS DID I TAKE THIS MORNING? Armour hyroid 60 mg tablet x2/day | duloxetine hcl 60mg | ratitidine tablets 150 mg x2/day |  ccyclobenzaprine 5mg x 3/day | cetirizine hydrochloride 90mg x2/day | medicinal marajuana as needed for pain | cannot find my muscle relaxor (5mg)

11. WHAT PART OF MY BODY HURTS THIS MORNING ? mainly legs, ribs and back. everything is pretty sore today. slow moving 

12. ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 (ONE BEING THE BEST AND TEN BEING THE WORST) WHAT IS MY OVERALL PAIN LEVEL THIS MORNING? WHAT TYPE OF PAIN IS IT? no migraine this morning, which is great! pain level is about a 5-6.. gets worse with moving today.

13. USING THE SAME SCALE AS ABOVE, WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR OVERALL ENERGY LEVEL TODAY? DO ANY SPECIFIC PARTS OF MY BODY FEEL FATIGUED? WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE?  .. about a 5

14. DO I HAVE A HEADACHE?  no
15. HOW IS MY THOUGHT PROCESSING THIS MORNING? slow16. DO MY LEGS WORK TODAY? yes,they just hurt a lot from yesterday's fall.. but they aren't limp yet
17. DO I NEED ASSISTANCE TO WALK THIS MORNING? no-ish

18. ANYTHING ELSE WORTH NOTING? 

EDS Daily : April 25, 2017

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eds-daily-.jpg

In an attempt to better understand my body, I'm making the decision (and upon recommendation from my physician, Dr. Francomono) to do a quick journal daily of symptoms, changes, diet, etc. to try to understand the pattern of how my body is working and responding to things. 

I've been wrestling with the form of media that I use for this daily practice, enjoying the feeling of pen to paper the best. I also have the knowledge of my past journaling experience, and know I won't stick to topic during those journaling sessions and will instead trail off on other ambient thoughts and ideas. Without considering my personal preferences, here are the forms of recording keeping I have been thinking of using for this project

  • a small writing journal
  • recording myself talking everyday
  • audio
  • video
  • journal on my computer
  • blogging daily on high five home space 

After thinking through all the pros and cons of each modality, I decided I'd start it here. I'm pretending I have someone reading this so there's accountability, right? I am more apt to do something if I know someone will be counting on me. 

Here are the guidelines I've outlined for myself:

  • journal AM and PM (when I'd normally be checking business e mail) 
  • design questionnaire for myself and answer said questions daily.
  • share once a week with a cumulative post on this space, hoping that maybe my personal research/journey might be able to help cumulative research for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Not only that, but most importantly help YOU who may be reading these things. 

So, here we go! Tomorrow I'll start. Tonight I'll formulate my questions in reply to a lot that I learned this past week during my appointment at The Harvey Institute of Human Genetics. 

My 30th April

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flower-birthday-cake-allison-lehman-

photo taken and styled by my super talented pal, allie lehman. 

I'm not really sure how to start writing about the epic adventure that has been the past month of my life. The last month of my 29th year and the first month of my 30th year.. April.

 Birthdays have always been special to me for some reason.. not MY birthday (or even that I'm good at remembering other's birthdays), but THE birthday. YOUR birthday. It's a day to celebrate YOU. I love celebrating my favorite humans on their days of birth. I used to think that everyone was as altruistic and excited as I was to celebrate MY birthday in return. Not true. 

Over the past 7 years, I've come to expect to not expect. Just another day. It doesn't need to warrant recognition, and expectations of frolicking in the flowers on my April birthday quickly dissipated when I came to realize that not EVERYONE loved birthdays as much as I do. Go figure.

Despite this rant, I have secretly still held a love for birthdays in my heart... and this year's tricentennial birthday didn't disappoint. 

Lets start at the beginning, shall we?

On April 7th (a warm friday evening in savannah) I took this good-lookin' snap in my kitchen while I was washing dishes: 

ehlers-danlos-syndrome-symptoms-

Things to note:

  • i hadn't been able to walk well in two weeks
  • my amazing landlord/neighbor brought me this tight-ass walker from her dad's house
  • it was the eve before lauren and matt's wedding at savannah station with sincerely yours events 

April 8th came around, and Lauren was getting married and I was shooting her wedding. My second shooter , Eric-Scott , helped me gather up our gear and brace me (quite literally) for the day ahead. I braced my left knee (I'm developing a new meniscus tear ) , my right ankle that I always roll and my wrist that holds my camera.. in addition to my silver ring splints for my hands. 

The first photo was taken around 2pm by the sweetest Emily of Sincerely Yours Events here in Savannah, and the second was taken around 6:30 pm when cognitive issues really started to get the best of me. Family photos didn't go as smoothly as they normally do because I couldn't read/wrangle/pose/shoot as well as I normally can. An hour after the family photos, I sat down to take photos of the first dance and my eyes started to fail me. I couldn't focus on anything, my legs wouldn't hold me up and I had this visceral feeling of fear overcome me. I'd been communicating with my body all day (see previous post), and in that moment my body said "you have got to get out of here now. If you keep pushing on, your going to really hurt me and I need HELP. NOW" 

Sweet Emily dropped everything when I limped over to her and told her I needed to find a way to get to the Emergency Room. Thirty minutes later, I was admitting to the ER and Keli came to let Emily get back to the wedding where Eric-Scott was shooting the remaining reception. 

While in the Emergency Room, we had a hard time convincing the on-duty physician that I only wanted an IV infusion and no tests or pain medication. Somewhere I had read that saline solution helps people with EDS, so my goal was to get that inside my body to give it the boost it needed to get to Baltimore the following week to see Dr. Francomono at The Harvey Institute of Human Genetics. 

The eve before my 30th birthday, I was able to get a saline drip that helped my body get over the hump to a better "recovery" from that night's wedding. Unsure of the "why" behind it's magic properties, I didn't question it and remained thankful that it helped me hold my head up and stand up straight. I'd learn more about saline in Baltimore the following week.

The sun rose on April 9th, and so did I. My thirtieth birthday started with breakfast in bed of the most amazing gluten free french toast delivered by The Five Spot , and the best mimosas I've had in a lonnggg time.

I looked over at my phone and saw the sweetest birthday present delivered to me from my mom and dad. They made a "happy Birthday" sign and took it with them to church. They were so kind and thoughtful and surprised me with a LOT of people who helped raise me holding my happy birthday sign. (you will be impressed by my mom's photo skills) Needless to say, the tears flooded my empty french toast plate rather quickly. 

Hopeful to make the best day I could out of the crappy night before and celebrate my birthday with a bang, I loaded up myself and my walker in my element and headed to the beach with Eric-Scott.

We tried THREE different boardwalks on Tybee Island. All three times I was unable to make it past the pavement in the parking lot. My walker didn't push on the sand, and my legs wouldn't carry my weight without the extra support the walker provided. Thirty and unable to make it 10 feet to the ocean. Defeating, yes. Did I let it ruin my day? no.

My 30th birthday was filled with sunshine, flowers, amazing food, wonderful company and I felt beyond loved by the people around me. Circumstances sucked, but I can honestly say that it was one of the best birthdays I'd ever had. 

I felt celebrated the way I want to celebrate people on their birthdays. I received cards, gifs, texts, flowers, hugs, food.. and felt smothered in appreciation for the journeys I'd taken to get me to where I was on my thirtieth birthday. I kept repeating the words "this is the best day ever." 

Stay tuned for several posts on presents I got for my birthday.. including presents I got myself during a stoned shopping spree. It's riveting.

Body Language 101

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other names for this post include:

  • why i talk to myself in public places

  • pep talks for my legs

  • rosetta stone for spoonies 

  • where can i find a brochure that teaches me how to talk to my hands? 

  • i promise i'm not crazy, but i talk to my dogs and my toes

I am trying to change the narrative I tell myself. It's 3.28 am on a Friday. I fell asleep at 6pm with the help of muscle relaxers and alcohol. If your a doctor, you can respond in the comments about how i'm not allowed to do that, but i promise i'm ok. 

Yesterday was GOOD. A friend came over, I watched my animals play, I worked and fleshed out some big ideas, I had a great talk with my neighbor, and it was sunny and the air smelled fresh after the thunderstorm we had two nights ago. BUT, it was also a HARD day. Good and Hard can exist together, I've learned. 

I've been trying to re-imagine and re-design my life / work so that I can do things that make me happy/ make money/ have a flexible schedule like I have now. Yesterday all of that felt impossible. Hell, walking to the fridge seemed impossible until my neighbor showed up with a tight wheeled walker for me. It was brought to my attention that I use a lot of the word "can't". 

I can't shoot weddings much longer | i can't go to the grocery store | I can't shower today | I can't live by myself | I can't take the dogs on a walk |  i can't drive to the pharmacy

I said all of those phrases yesterday, and I would guess I said them more than once. When it comes to everything else in life, I'm the eternal optimist/pep talker/nothing-will-stand-in-my-way-don't-you-ever-tell-me-i-can't-do-THAT.

I need to change the way I talk to myself. I've found myself giving my body pep talks (out loud and in public) lately without even realizing it. Most of the time it looks like this:

scenario: walking from car to almond milk in the grocery store on a bad day.

out loud pep talk: "come on meg, you've got this.. your almost there.. remember when you used to run 8-35's in middle school and you didn't think you could do that? this is so much easier! all you have to do is get milk. come on, you've got this! move legs! "

Given these pep talks aren't intentional or very well planned, they just kind of happen.. just imagine "The Little Engine That Could". So, how can I have pep talks that are planned? How can I talk to my body in a way she loves and in a way that will help me navigate my days?

this is sarah. she's one of my favorite people in the whole world. lucky enough, i met her because i shot her wedding! 

this is sarah. she's one of my favorite people in the whole world. lucky enough, i met her because i shot her wedding! 

When I visited my friend Sarah in Portland this winter, she was telling me about how she's started changing the way she operates when it comes to her body.. especially her body image. I told her to tell me what this looked like, and she told me the following: 

sarah (while looking in a mirror) : hi tummy! thank you for digesting my food and letting me eat yummy things! hi face (that has a huge zit on it) , you are beautiful and i'm so glad i have you to smile and laugh and experience the world. hi legs! thank you for moving every day.. for holding me up and getting me to where I need to go! You rock!

Tonight, while I'm laying in bed with The Jade Squad and unable to sleep because of pain, I realize that I need to do this with my body EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. of every single day. What would it look like if I had those conversations with myself and my body regularly?

meg: " good morning body! what do you need from me today?" (during this time I would take inventory of how each of my body parts are feeling).. " thank you for giving me a good night's sleep and for those crazy dreams. i'm thankful that i can open my eyes this morning, thank you for letting me feel the soft cuddles of my dogs and kitten, thank you for letting me eat a yummy breakfast and see the sunshine outside! I'm going to take the best care I can of you today, but I also need you to get me where I need to go..what's the best way to get there? 

"thank you for letting me walk" | "thank you for letting me form words and sentences and for my imagination" | "thank you for not having your period anymore.. because that really sucked" (instead of being sad and angry that I had to have a hysterectomy) | "thank you for helping me understand what pain feels like, and for teaching me how to connect with other people because of that." | "your awesome! you have let me become a photographer and you've even helped me become good at that!" 

I think you get the idea. I know I need to stop saying "can't", but I think it runs a lot deeper than that. I think I'll begin to stop saying "can't" when I allow myself to see ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS my body lets me do. I need to stop focusing on what it's kept me from doing, and focus on THE LIFE IT LETS ME LIVE. That change has to happen within myself and within the framework of how I see myself. 

I think this whole "turning can't into can" isn't about what we say to others, but more about what we say to ourselves. I've got to start being kinder and more gentle with myself. I want to love myself (all of me!) the way I love my friends. 

And right now, I'm texting with a friend (at 4 am) who needs me. So, I'm off. 

But I'll keep you updated on how this whole Body Language Rosetta Stone learning thing is going.