Sitting in meditation, in that peaceful and sacred space, I allow the wisdom and abundance of the earth to come up and build a caccoon around my entire body. Mother earth holds the darkness of the pain I have carried, and transforms it into a protective light-filled growth strengthening all of the webbing of fascia that holds my delicate body together. As it grows around me, I see flowers blooming at every chakra and opening up to divine light at the top of my head. I feel my wings growing inside this protective shell, not yet ready to be seen by the outside world. Patience is a virtue I am learning, and as I shed the layers of skin that protected me from harm I often get frustrated at the slow process of this transformation. I want my wings to expand so I can fly and find that joy of freedom that comes when you dance to your own sacred rhythm, I long to fly alongside my soul-friends.

Sitting there, I imagine what my wings will look like and where they will take me.. often seeing myself souring in health and beauty-jumping from flower to flower to spread their life across the universe. In my haste to transform, I am reminded of the journey of the caterpillar. I am reminded that after death there is always rebirth, but the rebirth process is long and hard for this creature. She innately knows that she must protect herself and hide from the outside world as everything she once was dissolves inside that protective shell. She must become a new creature. Her skin and her way of being completely changes as she becomes a different creature she doesn’t even recognize. Her mind and her body must be rewired to fly.

One of my limiting beliefs I am overcoming is that someone else must save me from the pain of my heart and mind. I often wish that someone would come along and cut this protective shell and show me how to fly.. that I don’t have the wisdom stored within my own cells for this painful transformation and awakening to beauty. Then I remember the butterfly. What if I was walking through the woods and saw a beautiful cocoon shaking, knowing that the creature inside of it wanted to be free? What if I cut the bottom of that protective coffin to set the butterfly free? Do you know what would happen? The butterfly would fall to the ground and die. Why? Because the painful and hard process of breaking out of that shell is vital to her survival- it strengthens her wings to fly.. and if she is released before she is ready, her wings will be too delicate and not strong enough to give her the ease of gliding in the breeze.

So it is with us. This process of transformation, of waking up to your highest calling and most beautiful self ,often comes with deep pain and sorrow and struggle. The quake of leaving who you were behind and re-wiring your mind and heart and body to open up to your highest calling and the power of unconditional loves requires you to surrender everything you were and step into the unknown. Into a completely different vibrational state of being- into surrendering to unconditional love and beauty. In this transformation our bodies often more rest and more love than they have ever been given before.. and that love is a love that comes from above and something you must give to your own heart. No one else can transform for you, you must do it for yourself.. and what I’m learning is that we hold the key to that wisdom inside of our souls. I think that’s why the dark night of the soul is so dark, you are taken into all of your fears and limitations to face them head on and heal so that you can show others that healing is possible. Transformation is a slow process.. winter always comes and kills off the plants so that they can rebirth.. and after that death spring ALWAYS comes. This is the law of the universe. This is resurrection.

I must trust that I will fly again, and that the dark night of the soul comes in as we transform.. shedding all of the layers of pain and fear and limiting beliefs that no longer serve your highest good. As you strip yourself of these you will be filled with a blanket of nothing-ness so you can fill yourself up with the light and love and hope that will lighten your load and allow you to fly. If a tiny little creature like a catepillar holds this wisdom of transformation and rebirth, if the flowers always know how to bloom out of the earth, if the plants we eat know that they must have their protective shell around them as the new life springs forth.. then how much more wisdom do us as humans hold?