Well Hello Again
Well, here we are, sitting back at my computer with this blank blog page in front of me. After a long absence from the blog-o-sphere, I find myself back at the same place I started.. sharing my journey with you all.This time, however, it feels completely different. It FEELS completely different because I am living completely different life than I was when I had first started blogging all those years ago over on Eat.Live.Make.
I do not really care if blogs are or aren’t popular anymore, because right now this is the best mode of communication I have with you all. Before I was concerned about analytics and attracting an audience and networking and somehow making money and trying to somehow prove to myself that I had something to offer (just like all of those other cool successful mommy bloggers!) through my experience.. because my experience was obviously different.
While the voice you heard in my writing before was certainly MY OWN voice, it was also a timid voice who was afraid of your judgments and most importantly the whiplash of having anything I shared used against me by my ex husband. I was to keep things hidden, the truth behind the DIY projects, the excessive moving, the gluten free recipes.. the ways I was not coping well with what life was throwing at me. I feel like i could unearth each of those old entries off my blogger website and rewrite it all to tell the story that was going on behind closed doors and within my soul (which was very much silent during that period of my life).
The photos had to be just right, I had to post daily, I spent days trying to figure out how to make money and didn’t really have the resources within myself to build a true community out of what I was sharing. My heart to help and share and educate and build community is still the same, but this time I am going to go about it a completely different way- openhearted, while also having boundaries and allowing my intuition to lead me as this process unfolds.
I want to embody my entire experience of life with ehler-danlos syndrome so that I can be a light and inspiration to those of you who are walking this path and following in our footsteps. My voice is one of many MANY MANY strong individuals who have complex and harrowing journeys with this strange connective tissue syndrome that connects us. My hope is that, in allowing myself to be vulnerable with the sharing of my individual life experience, you will come to see that you are not only not alone, but you have EVERYTHING within you to live a FULL life within the boundaries your body places upon you.. I hope that this opens up conversations, tellings of truth, disappearance of the shame we place upon ourselves because of our bodies, and that this space can be a resource for elemental healing of body, mind, soul and sprit.
All of this to say that I am excited to be back, I am excited to have to words to share and excitement instead of shame and fear. I am no longer running from the parts of myself people don’t like to see, the parts that I have hidden, and am seeing how special and unique I have always been.. my journey with EDS has brought me to this place and has given me a platform from which to speak my truths. I cannot wait to share how I have changed my limiting beliefs about myself and especially myself in relation dto Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and my physical body, and how I have found peace and even thankfulness for this road I have walked. The month of May is Ehlers Danlos Awareness month, so I’m just going to start from that vantage point and see how things bloom.
Please leave any comments or questions so we can start a conversation!